Genesis 32:31 (NIV) - The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.
One of the most epic battles in the Bible I believe happened between Jacob and God. You can read the full story in Chapter 32 in Genesis.
During this confrontation, Jacob was struck by a "man" in the hip, and from there on, Jacob could not walk normally; his ability to run was compromised. Jacob, a man that had been running from trouble all his life, was no longer capable of moving with freedom because of the pain caused by this injury. I laughed while I read this story, because it has so many similarities to what happens to so many of us. Just as Jacob, we become very skillful at avoiding trouble; we have learned to run our way out of pain and discomfort. We are always looking for a shortcut to reach our goals faster, even if that means not being fully honest.
Jacob's life however, changed because of pain. Jacob told the "man" that he was not going to let him go unless he blessed him. During this encounter with this "man" Jacob was afraid of what was going to happen to him. He was afraid for his life and afraid for his family and his future. Jacob's desperation for answers placed him in a position where he was willing to risk even his own life in exchange for a blessing from God. Jacob had come to realize that running was not longer an option. He needed not a change in circumstances but a change in his heart; he needed to be transformed. And it took pain to do it.
Our bodies have been wonderfully made to sense when we're at risk of danger and to avoid pain. And the messages our body uses to let us know to avoid these dangers is pain. When something hurts, we make everything possible to keep safe that injured toe or whatever it is. We learn to hide feelings and emotions that cause us pain. If we feel insecure, we pretend we are brave. If we think we are weak, we become abusive. We learn to hide and to protect our weak areas by putting thick bandages on anything that hurts.
When something hurts, that pain pushes us to make adjustments to our daily routines. Likewise, the internal pain we suffer when others despise us, when people we love hurts us, when we are insulted, and even when we are suffering the consequences of our rebelliousness makes us want to change.
Pain is a messenger of God. It tells us when change is a must. Pain tells us when certain activities or behaviors will hurt us before our condition worsens. To not obey what our body or our heart is telling amounts to self-destruction.
Leprosy and some other diseases that may affect the ability of the body to feel pain are terrible because when pain disappears, with it disappears the concern for healing. These diseases that affects the nervous system make people slowly lose the ability to feel pain until they reach a point that they do not feel pain anymore. Because they no longer feel pain, they become neglectful of their infection.
When you break a leg or an arm and you don’t feel pain, those limbs will fuse again in a deformed way, becoming almost unrecognizable from what they looked before. Can you see the great importance of pain?
The pain that we despise is a messenger of God; it helps us to preserve our lives.
Let us not try to avoid pain, but rather than focusing on the pain, let us focus on the Healer. There will always be people who we will not be able to please under any circumstances. There will often be those who always have something negative to say about us. But when we are suffering pain for not following God's direction, it is time not for Band-Aids but for change and a decision to obey.
What hurts you? Have you been putting Band-Aids over deep wounds? Have you lost sensitivity to the voice of God? Have you have stopped listening to that loud voice of your spirit that longs for a deeper relationship with God?
If you feel a general sense of pain but can't identify the root of it, you need to present this pain to God and pray for healing. Many who have suffered through life have lost the ability to identify where it hurts, and they often feel like the living dead without purpose or desires. God can restore that ability to love again, to feel, to mourn. Do not despise the messenger (pain) - listen to what it wants to say.
Written by Lt. Giovanni E. Romero
Union City Corps
Over the Columbus Day weekend, my wife and I made our way to Gettysburg to camp and explore the area. We enjoy history and to me, one of the fascinating features of Gettysburg is the monuments to all of the units that participated in the battle. In addition to the battlefield monuments, there are also some like the New York memorial (pictured) that are in the National Cemetery which honors those who gave "the last full measure of devotion" for their country.
As we wandered, I began to look for names on the monuments that might, in some way, be related to me. On the Pennsylvania monument I found one - Vincent Odell (pictured).
My maternal grandmother's maiden name was O'dell and her family was from the East, so it is possible that we're related some how. This discovery caused me to pause and think about what those three days must have been like, and what the families who came after to mourn must have felt. As I considered that perhaps my relative had fought here, I had a newfound appreciation for the bravery and sacrifice of those who had been on this hallowed ground in the summer of 1863.
Since that weekend, I have also thought more about the bravery and sacrifice of another man, Jesus Christ. Much like many of those soldiers at Gettysburg who sacrificed themselves on the altar of freedom, Jesus sacrificed Himself to save people who didn't even know Him yet.
In John 3:17 NASB we are told "For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him."
This verse is a promise from God that His Son died for each of us to be free and have a restored relationship with Him. Just like the monuments in Gettysburg which remind us of that battle, each Christian is a monument to the saving power of Jesus. One of my daily prayers is that my life is a monument that points people to the meaning of Jesus' sacrifice. If you want to be a monument, I encourage you to contact your local Salvation Army Officer or another minister and see how God wants to change your life and make you a monument to His mercy and grace.
Written by Richard Pease
Divisional Controller
"Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
'Cause Your grace still amazes me"
-Philips, Craig, and Dean
Last week, my wife and I had the privilege of attending a wonderful conference at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary just outside of Boston. I'm not normally a conference kind of guy. I find them high in calories and low in "intellectual and business fiber." The Pastor's conferences at GCTS are the exception. Every minute on campus is an inspirational moment that presses me to be better at my craft and go deeper in my soul. "The Surprising Work of God: Calling The Church to Spiritual Renewal" was no exception.
Dr. Walter Kaiser (President Emeritus, GCTS) and Dr. Timothy Tennant wonderfully book-ended the conference with two brilliant lectures. One might describe them as Kaiser making the case for revival and Tennant’s pressing the possibilities for how revival might happen in this generation.
Kaiser showed us that 2 Chronicles 7:14 is paradigmatic for revival in Ancient Israel and in our day. He stated how revival occurs:
1. In a time of moral darkness, Biblical ethics have been overturned and morality and justice have been distorted.
2. When a consecrated servant of God becomes an energizing stimulus.
3. Bold preaching.
4. Destruction of idols or and competitors to the Living God.
5. A return to worship and adoration of the Lord God.
6. Determination to separate oneself from sin.
7. Exuberant joy.
"If my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land." (2 Chronicles 7:14 ESV)
Dr. Kaiser cited four conditions for revival to happen:
1. A Call to Humble Ourselves
2. A Call to Pray
3. To Seek God’s Face
4. A Call to Return to the Lord.
And when the conditions are met, Kaiser reflected on five results of revival:
1. Relevant to All People
2. Jeremiah 18 – The Potter's House
3. God's Forgiveness
4. Begins with the nation of Israel and extends to all people
5. The Bless on the People and Land who obey God's call.
Tennant built on Kaiser's foundation with particular emphasis on the globalized definition of God's (MY) people. Out of space, but just want to share two ideas from Tennant:
First: Forces of World Christian Movement (which include): Globalization, Immigration, Technology, New Church Planting movements.
Then he addressed three major paradigm shifts in Global Revitalization Movements. He states that it is: "Time for a new generation of Christians, committed to apostolic faith to declare minimalistic, reductionist Christianity a 'failed project.'"
Global emergence of Christian revitalization is helping the church regain confidence in the truth of the gospel. Deeper ecumenism can move the church forward in the face of the challenges of our day
The upshot is that revival can happen again and again in our today. But, we can't be satisfied with trying to provoke the Holy Spirit to action via 'same ol, same ol.' Our Gospel must match the hour. When it does, when we do, God is hovering just waiting to surprise us again. After all (his grace):
"It's deeper, it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher
It's deeper, it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher than anything my eyes can see!"
Written by Major Carl E. Carvill, D.Min.
Asbury Park Corps
I was astounded when I read this story in the Book of Exodus, Chapter 4:1-5 and it says - But Moses protested again, "What if they won’t believe me or listen to me? What if they say, "The Lord never appeared to you?" Then the Lord asked him, "What is that in your hand?" "A shepherd's staff," Moses replied. "Throw it down on the ground," the Lord told him. So Moses threw down the staff, and it turned into a snake! Moses jumped back. Then the Lord told him, "Reach out and grab its tail." So Moses reached out and grabbed it, and it turned back into a shepherd's staff in his hand. "Perform this sign," the Lord told him. "Then they will believe that the Lord, the God of their ancestors—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob—really has appeared to you."
I am so impressed about how often we pray to God for miracles, and then we easily become frightened when things begin to happen - and those things happening don’t look at all like the miracles we expected and prayed for.
Here was Moses, complaining before God about not having any assurances, or any proof of His existence to go before the Egyptians and speak on His behalf. Moses asks God, "What if they don’t believe me? What if they don’t listen to me? What if they say that you never appeared to me?" So what did God do? Well, He tried to satisfy Moses' concern, He asked him, "What is that in your hand?" Moses said, "a shepherd’s staff." And then, with the staff on the ground, God transformed it into a snake. The story says that Moses jumped back when he saw the snake; in some Spanish versions it reads that, "Moses ran away."
Here was Moses pleading for a miracle, pleading for help and understanding from God, and when God wanted to help him fulfill his mission, he became frightened by what he saw.
How often do we do exactly the same? How often do we pray to God for miracles or for help in a particular situation, but soon after things appear to be actually getting worse (the snake), we begin to run. We are praying for money and we lose our jobs. We are praying for healing, and then another member of the family becomes ill. Rather than trying to see God at work in the circumstances, we quickly take off running to the neighbors' or to a lender or to share or sorrows with someone else.
This is what often happens to us; God performs miracles in our daily lives, but we have problems accepting them as such, because we don't make any efforts to look beyond the appearance of things. We are too focused on our own needs and wants and miss the bigger picture. God is interested in using every opportunity as a teaching moment, as a life-changing lesson. How could we possibly think there's a miracle in being fired from a job, or being locked out of our apartment, or losing a close friend? Those are most likely not the miracles we are expecting, but they are part of a divine process that God will take us through on our way to victory. The road to the Promised Land runs through the desert.
Written by Lt. Giovanni E. Romero
Union City Corps
Carol Riley remembers the tears running down her face as she watched her 7-year-old grandson Aziz Goode swim for the first time.
"The biggest thing [The Salvation Army's Ray and Joan Kroc Corps Community Center] did for me besides keeping him in a safe place, was you taught my child how to swim," Riley said. "Aziz learned how to swim here. We came to watch him – his mother, his father and me – and all we did was cry. Aziz can swim, and then he also went scuba diving? Where are we? Is this really Camden?"
Seeing her grandson at all is a gift that Riley counts her blessings for every day. After what she has been through, seeing Aziz born, let alone seeing him grow up, seemed unlikely. Ten years ago, Riley suffered a stroke; and then another and another. All told, Riley has suffered five strokes over the course of the last decade. The days lost to hospital beds have been far too many to count. Yet whatever toll those strokes have taken from here physically, they have done nothing to disrupt her mentally or slow her hunger for her family to succeed.
"This is something on my bucket list – to spend valued time with my grandchildren before I go to sleep," Riley said passionately. "But before I go to sleep, they are going to have to tie me down. Thanks to this place and Life of Lords – which is where I go for medical and is the reason I'm alive – between mentally here and physically there, I might be here for a while."
Riley became aware of what the Kroc Center had to offer shortly after its opening. Her nephew had been going through health problems and hoped the fitness components the building had to offer could help him become healthier.
"He's lost fifty pounds since coming here," Riley said. "I knew I had to come check it out."
As summer approached, she also knew she had to find a way to get her grandson into the six-week summer camp offered at the Kroc Center. So with the help of Aziz's father, Riley made the financial investment necessary to ensure Aziz's summer would be one to remember.
"The most positive thing that I have seen here this summer is that children in Camden have somewhere to go," said Riley. "I have lived in Camden for over 50 years and used to sit and watch the fireman come here (the Kroc Center site which used to be a landfill) because the fire would be coming out of the ground. I've been here a long time. Children have somewhere to go now. You really don't know how many lives you have saved here. These kids come in here in droves. They love this place, and I like it too."
"I had to find somewhere for my grandson to go for the summer where I knew he could be safe,” Riley continued. There are so many children and young black males, and Hispanics and whites killed on these streets every day.”
Riley paused before speaking about two young men in their 20s who were killed in Camden the night before.
"I don’t care what city or town you are in - things happen, and I don't want my child to be out there. I thank God for his blessings for allowing us to be here."
In addition to learning how to swim, Aziz has improved on his math skills thanks in small part to the café. Riley makes sure her grandson can count change before allowing him to order a meal.
Despite seeing so many tragic things in her 50-plus years living in Camden, Riley's outlook is one of extreme positivity. She believes things have made a serious stride in the right direction in recent years and that the Kroc Center is a major step in the right direction for the city's future.
"I have friends that come here from Voorhees," she said with a raised brow. "That's interesting to me. People never wanted to come through (Camden) on the bus, but they come here to the Kroc Center because they always know they are safe. You see people walking here, you see people coming in buses, cabs. People are coming to this place. This place is awesome."
After being through so much the last 10 years, Riley has a true appreciation for life and the time she gets to spend with her family. Having a place where that could happen this summer was the ultimate gift.
"I couldn't have anything better," she said. "Kids always ask me what I want for my birthday, and I always tell them 'love, peace and happiness.' And God knows this has been my love, peace and happiness to have my grandson with me."
Written by Eric Schwartz
Operations Assistant
The Salvation Army Kroc Center - Camden
12:10 PM
1 corinthians, 2 peter, enemy, genesis, hebrews, james, john, lujke, major kevin stoops, matthew, psalm, temptation
All of us are tempted to do the wrong thing. If we desire to live like Christ, then we must follow His example and say 'no' to temptation. But how do we do that? Is there a secret formula? Well, I do not know if it is secret, but I believe that there are things that we can do if we truly want to be like Jesus.
First, know your enemy
If you want to win at sports, it is important that you know your opponent; strengths, weaknesses, tendencies, personnel etc. In the faith journey, it is crucial that we are aware that we have an enemy that is attempting to get us off of the narrow way. We learn from Jesus that He was able to say no to temptation because He knew his enemy.
a. Satan is a liar. John 8:44, "You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desire. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language for he is a liar and the father of lies." Look what he tried to do to Jesus; "if you are the Son of God..." then later, "if you are the Son of God..." He tried to create uncertainty in the truth. He did the exact same thing to Eve and it worked - "Did God really say that you must not eat from any tree in the garden?" - Genesis 3:1. See the lie and the attempt to deceive. This is his strategy, and when we know the enemy, then we can be on our guard.
b. He is out to steal, kill and destroy. John 10:10 - "the thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy, I have come that you may have life and have it to the full." When you realize that what you are being invited to do is going to destroy you – it is the enemy. When you realize that what you are being invited to take is going to steal your joy, your reputation, your marriage etc. it is the enemy.
c. When you know your enemy, you can resist the devil, and he will run away. James 4:7 says, "Submit to God, resist the devil and he will run away." Jesus did that in Luke 4 – Satan lied and said that Jesus could use His power for selfish purposes. Jesus saw through the lie and said no. Satan lied and attempted to give to Jesus what was not his to give (authority and splendor of the world). Jesus saw through this and said no. Then, Satan lied and said that Jesus could get followers by doing the spectacular. Jesus saw through this lie and knew that He could only get true followers if he went to the cross, so he said no.
Secondly, Know the Word
Please note what Jesus used as his weapon to say no to temptation. He used the Word. Matthew verse 4, "it is written..." verse 7, "it is written...", verse 10, "it is written..." Because Jesus was well acquainted with the truth, He could spot any lie.
The way to expose a lie is to know the truth. And spiritually, the truth we have is the Word.
Psalm 119:11 says, "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you."
Hebrews 4:12, "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."
When the temptation comes to gossip or lie, the word tells us, let no unwholesome words come out of your mouth. Or you shall not bear false witness (lie). Knowing the truth short-circuits the lie, and allows us to say no to the invitation to sin.
When the temptation comes to steal, we can use the word ‘you shall not steal’ and counteract the invitation to sin.
When the temptation comes to give in to the addiction, we can use the word, "your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit" or "do not become drunk," and remove the stinger, and make it powerless.
So, we see so far, we can say no to temptation like Jesus when we know the enemy and know the Word. But we also need to:
Know the way out
Cheriann and I recently attended a movie at a theatre. Part of the announcements on the screen before the film began was to take note of where the exits were located. Look behind you, in front of you etc. This way, you will be armed with knowledge that could save your life in the event the lights go out, a fire starts or worse. Knowledge of the way out allows you to be successful in case of an emergency.
Jesus succeeded against the tempter because he knew the way out. And so can you.
1 Corinthians 10:13, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful: he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide you a way out so that you can stand up under it."
Did you catch it? When you are tempted, He will provide you a way out.
You can feel when temptation comes at you – to use, to view pornography, to steal, to gossip, to not put in a full-days work, that a great darkness has come over you. This is absolutely true. But we are provided with a way out.
What is the way out?
It is a light - Psalm 119:105 - "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path."
2 Peter 1:19 - "And we have the word of the prophets made more certain, and you will do well to pay attention to it, as to a light shining in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts."
It is a presence - Because He himself suffered when he was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted. His very presence will guide us out of the temptation and into the safety of God's light.
You can say 'no' to temptation if you will know your enemy, know the Word and know the way out, and then, in the end, good things will happen. James 1:12 - "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life."
Written by Major Kevin Stoops
Montclair Citadel
If your house is anything like mine, the relaxed pace of summer has been replaced by the non-stop frenzy of fall. At work, I'm closing in on fiscal year end activities, my wife has started a new job, our eldest is taking classes at our local community college and working his first job, our middle son is heavily involved in band and taking advanced placement test courses, and our youngest is being challenged by 7th grade. When you throw in church activities and our heavy involvement in Boy Scouts, it seems as if every minute of every day is packed before I even get out of bed. There are days where I wish I could just quit everything and start over, but then I realize that would accomplish nothing, as I seem to be incapable of saying no when asked to volunteer, so I'm sure I'd be quickly back where I started. When I feel like things are truly spinning out of control, I have three activities that help me get centered.
First, I spend some quiet time with God. I admit this isn't easy, but even taking five minutes to shut out the world and focus on God gives me a fresh perspective, renewed strength and less stress. On my phone, I have several go-to Scripture verses bookmarked that help me put my focus back on God. One such passage that I have cherished for more than 30 years is Psalm 46:1-3. In the New American Standard Bible it reads, "God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change And though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride." When I take a few moments to meditate on this passage, the busyness and stress of my day melt away as I recognize that God has got my back, and no matter what I go through, He is in control.
My second strategy is to take a glance through the photo gallery on my phone. I love to take pictures with my family when we're out and about. Even though it annoys them at times, all those memories help me to see that even though we're busy, we have fun! That fun bubbles up to the front of my mind and helps me relax and realize that it's all worth it - after all, you only live once!
Finally, I try to do something physical. I confess that this is my weakest strategy as I never seem to find enough time to exercise, but I do feel better after going for a walk or spending a few minutes on the rowing machine. Even mowing the lawn or pulling weeds can help get some of that anxiety and stress out. I am hopeful that I can make this strategy more of a priority in the next few months as I can benefit from another benefit of exercise - losing a bit of weight.
I hope that you find my experience helpful as you navigate your busy fall. If you're looking for more help with managing the stress and frenzy of your life, I encourage you to visit your local Salvation Army and chat with an officer. If there is not a Salvation Army Corps near you, consider visiting another place of Worship and talking with the minister. It's amazing what happens when you get spiritually centered!
Written by Richard Pease
Divisional Controller
Sunday (September 13, 2015) was a great day of Celebration Sunday in Asbury Park. The Great Auditorium in Ocean Grove, New Jersey became a gigantic Corps Hall. September 13 marked the final summer Sunday morning worship for the season. For many years, the Asbury Park Corps has held forth and invited some of the greatest Army preachers of the day to bring a Holiness Message. I am told that Mrs. Commissioner Swanson took the opportunity to look through the guest speaker register. Surely a tear must have come to her eye when she discovered the signature of Commissioner Andrew S. Miller – her father.
Commissioner Barry Swanson took a very poignant text for this day of celebration and also reflection at the end of the summer. In I Kings 19:9 God asks Elijah a most probing question which has had me musing since. "What are you doing here?" God asks Elijah, and by extension all of us who follow the Lord God. I love to think about the great prophet with all his accomplishments, his loyalty to God, and even his legacy – literally his mantle of power. But I don't like to think of the depressed, self-involved Elijah. You know, the one who hid in a cave after one of his greatest victories?
I guess it's because the self-involved Elijah is too much like me. We talk a lot about making a difference, about doing work for God, being God’s hands here and now. There are times when God comes quietly to me in my sulking self-made caves. And he asks, "What are you doing here?" He's really not asking a question, but reminding me that I'm not here to 'do' anything to help him.
In this quiet moment, God comes to remind me why I'm here. Echoing across the ages is Jesus question to Peter: "Peter, Do you love me?" And then comes God's answer to all who follow Him: Simply, "Feed my Sheep." There you have it, Elijah's, Peter's, and our purpose as soldiers of Christ is to be:
"Channels only blessed Master,
But with all thy wondrous power
Flowing through me, thou canst use me
Every day and every hour."
Written by Major Carl E. Carvill
Asbury Park Corps
Keeping the date in mind when this will be posted, I cannot help but to think of our children, returning to school today or recently. I can draw upon many comparisons to my school days and the way things are now, and see some similarities, but the stark contrasts are by far the ones that come to mind most.
Sure, we had homework to hand in and tests to study for, and who can forget the pleasant pop quizzes that came along the way. That has not changed. We had the differences of opinion with either: a teacher; or a classmate; or even an upper classman to contend with, all a part of the school day which dealt more with the social aspect rather than curriculum. Generally speaking, that has not changed, save for the online social media aspect, which has been introduced and the fact that most school districts have started thwarting the bullying, which unfortunately often ruled the landscape.
My generation, however, had something priceless: feeling secure while at school. We never had to deal with bomb drills, and hiding under our desks, converting them into impromptu bomb shelters. We did not have to worry about lockdowns and people entering our school building, bringing with them an evil agenda of death and destruction of lives. Still, to this day, and after all the different tragedies that have taken place in our nation's schools, I am in disbelief. When did society take such a wrong turn that our schools became open targets for these horrible actions? I want to point out that we should not feel helpless or hopeless in the face of this adversity.
All of us have or know someone attending school this year. As believers of Christ, we can pray for these children, their teachers and school staff. Assure them that they are in the hands of God, whether or not they approach you with fear or hesitation. The fact of the matter is that our children will be better prepared for school if prayer is a part of their daily routine. It should be an integral part of their day as they strive to build a relationship with Him. Personally, I cannot think of something more comforting than knowing that God is on our side, as Father and Defender. After all, "The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?" (Psalm 118:6, NIV).
Go the extra mile: Adding a Post-It with a message and prayer goes a long way! This year, let us not limit our children's preparedness to nice new apparel and school supplies; arm them with God's love and care as well.
Written by Jesabel Cruz
Office Manager and Case Worker, Red Bank Corps
Have you ever felt that you were born by accident?
Have you ever felt like you are not part of the family you are in?
How do we love ourselves when we do not feel loved or wanted by those who brought us to this world?
Everyone at some point, especially during our youth, has faced situations where we feel unloved, unwanted and unaccepted. We at different points in our lives could form very negative ideas about our parents. In our society, often times, young couples have babies without much knowledge or experience in parenting. For many babies, the most common noises that they are exposed to are those of their parents yelling insults to each other; way before they learn to walk, they have already been exposed to abuse.
Many mothers, in times of great stress, caused by poverty or abandonment by their partners, have cursed the fruit of their wombs, and this affects many children, even in adulthood. Nothing causes more pain than feeling that the most important people in our lives - our parents - do not love us. Nothing causes more resentment, bitterness and depression than feeling that nothing we do can win the love of our parents.
Many young people are prone to fits of anger and violent outbursts because they feel their mother or father prefer their romantic interests or even another sibling over themselves. Young people often feel displaced by friends that their parents would rather hang out with, or by their parents drinking or other addictions.
I first wrote this article in Spanish, and over the years, I was amazed about how many young people identified with it. I have received hundreds of comments from young people of different ages stating their suffering, their desperation and isolation brought about by those feelings of abandonment and neglect from their parents. Often times, the question they have is, "How can we find courage to live productive lives when those we love do not expect anything good from us?"
The Bible tells a story that I'm sure will provide encouragement to us; Genesis 35:17-19.
This is the story of a woman name Rachel who died while struggling to give birth to her son. She had a very difficult delivery, with such pain that in her last words, she decided to call her son Ben-oni, which means "son of my sorrow." Imagine growing up with a name like that. Imagine being known by everyone in your school, the place you live, your soccer of baseball team as "Son of sorrow" because you caused the death of your own mother.
Thankfully for this baby, his father was there and immediately changed his name from Ben-oni, son of sorrow, to Benjamin, which means "son of my right hand." Hardship and pain had caused that mother to call the fruit of her womb a name that reflected her suffering, rather than her hope. This mother wasn't thinking about this baby's future - she was focused on the pain she was experiencing, but the baby’' father wouldn't let this happen. He saw the baby and rather than focusing on his loss, he decided to focus on his gain and called his baby "Son of my right hand."
This story we've read is thousands of years old, but it is repeated again and again in homes devastated by poverty, ignorance, irresponsibility and vices. Often times, men and women filled with bitterness because they had thoughtlessly fell for a man or a woman who didn’t love them, see their children as a reminder of their past and as a source of pain and suffering. Rather than seeing their children as a ray of hope and a source of love, they insult them and call them names that don't reflect at all how God our father see them.
The book of Psalms 27:10 (NIV) says: "Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me."
Without a doubt, the pain of rejection is real. The lack of acceptance and love can make us weep to the point of wishing to die. One can often question God about why were we born. The emotional pain can cause many to follow the wrong path to self-destruction or fall pry of one bad relationship to another. But today, I want to tell you that although you feel alone in this world, even when you feel that no one loves you and the whole world doesn't care that you exist, God knows you and He knows your pain. God wants you to come to know him and He wants to be that mother or father who has not cared for you.
I know how difficult it is to even imagine that someone will actually care about our hurts and pain. I know how difficult it is when we are feeling lonely to believe that God can be anywhere near us. I know how difficult it is to believe that we could be loved by someone else when those people we were supposed to be the most important to don’t seem to care about us, but God does. God will not leave us not forsake us. I once read in a commentary that this word means that God will not leave and neither let us go; He will be there by our side, even in the days and times when don't want Him. He is a faithful friend. The first and most important thing to begin the journey of freedom is to forgive our parents. But it is not easy to forgive if we are focused only in our present circumstances - that is why we need God to give us hope.
In reading the stories of those young people who have sent me comments about their own experiences, I have come to realize something I didn't know when I was going through my own bad experience -I am not the only one who has experienced rejection. I am not the only one who has felt rejected or unloved. In fact, it is more prevalent than I never imagined. It seems that it is very much part of growing up. Now that I have my own children, I can see how often my wife or I have inadvertently said or done things that one our kids didn't think was fair, but after a few loving words, everybody was happy again.
Give God a chance, and let him love you today! Give God a chance.
Written by Lt. Giovanni E. Romero
Union City Corps
