I saw Sha yesterday.
We talked for the first time in ten long, feels-like-forever-ago days since he left the hospital.
He asked why I didn't stop by Rite Aid earlier, having seen me pass it nearly every day. I told him part of the truth, then the full truth.
"I'm always running late for work when I drive by...and I'm hurt. It hurts to see you back here."
I asked him what happened, how he went from all in to all out. He told me the full truth.
"I'm not ready."
His words hit like a soft dagger, a tender weapon.
Sha said that his heart wants his body to get well, but the battlefield of his mind supersedes them both. I asked what his rock bottom is and said that if I were him, I would have been at that point a long time ago.
He didn't have an answer.
Sha started to go off on a tangent, asking for my assistance on a new project. I refused his request. I told him that my family and I had already put our lives on hold for him, and his asking for more, while using again no less, was a slap in the face. I said that both my dad (who visited Sha at Rite Aid on Saturday) and I were able to sit with him now only because of the Holy Spirit in us. Otherwise, perhaps a few obscenities would have been exchanged, bringing this story to an end. But it's not finished.
I handed him the seemingly endless list of detox/rehab phone numbers I had called.
"I won't make the calls again. This is on you now."
As firm as I was, Sha knew my words weren't seasoned with anger or bitterness.
"If I go to rehab, will you still support me?"
I told Sha that he always has my support in prayer and love, and nothing will ever change that. I gave him a hug, he gave me a kiss, and I started to walk away. He called back out to me.
"Something good is gonna happen in your life. I know it."
I smiled.
"How about a deal? When I have good news, I'll report back to you. When you have good news, you'll report back to me."
He nodded his head and waved goodbye. I got in my car, and a deep peace washed over me.
Before talking to Sha yesterday, I prayed for Christ to give me the right words to say, and I believe He did. I pray Sha meditates on them. I pray he meditates on how much the God of the universe loves him.
Jesus is ready for you, Sha.
Community Relations Associate
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