As Christ Followers and Salvationists, we believe that the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments were given by inspiration of God and that they only constitute the divine rule of Christian Faith and practice. As Christ followers we base our definition of and purpose for marriage on the teachings of the Bible. The Bible teaches us that Marriage God's way is a "oneness" created by God (Genesis 2:19 – 25).
Adam lived in a pristine garden full of fruits and vegetables with a pure river running through it which watered the garden and provided an unlimited source of crystal spring water. (Can't you just picture him doing the backstroke down the garden river with a big smile on his face?). He had all kinds of animals with which to play and frolic. He had meaningful work taking care of the garden. He enjoyed the privilege of free choice as recorded in Genesis16, when instructed to eat from any tree but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
While naming the animals, Adam must have noticed that each kind of animal had mates, but he had no companion. When he started naming the animals, he was practicing his power of speech. Surely he had to notice that he had no one with which to speak. Both he and God must have noted these things because God said in Genesis 2:18 "It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
So, God performed the first recorded surgery. Note that Eve was not taken out of Adam’s head to surpass him or from his feet to be trampled on, but from his side to be equal to him, and near his heart to be dear to him, and under his arm to be protected by him. The human pair was different from all the animal pairs. Eve was formed out of Adam – she was body of Adam's body - THEY were one. One flesh refers to the personal union of a man and woman at ALL levels of their lives: emotionally, personally, socially, economically, legally, and sexually.
Once, when the Pharisees asked Jesus, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?" Jesus replied, "Haven't you read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female. And said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Matthew 19:4-6)
The Bible teaches us that Marriage God's way is a oneness created by God and an exclusive relationship between one man and one woman for a lifetime.
Sin has messed around with the exclusivity of marriage since Old Testament times and has therefore ruined marriage for many people. God clearly warns us to honor our Bond to our spouse.
God said to Moses, "You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14)
Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." (Matthew 5:27 & 28)
Jesus said, "Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." (Matthew 19:4-6)
"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral." (Hebrews 13:4)
"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator...because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion." (Romans 1:25-27)
Sex outside of an exclusive relationship between one man and woman is destructive. A visual illustration of this is found in a piece of clear tape. Let's say a piece of tape represents an individual whom is sexually pure. Their ability to bond physically with another individual is strong. The first time that piece of tape is placed on someone's arm, it has the ability to bond to the arm in a strong, secure fashion. However, if the tape is torn off of that arm, it is now covered with skin cells, body hairs, and DNA from the arm to which it was originally attached and its future bonding ability is lessened. Every time that tape is attached to a different arm, more skin cells and body hair and DNA is attached to the tape, impairing its ability to "stick."
In the same way, should an individual who has had multiple sexual partners one day want to marry someone, he is less able to commit and trust that person because his bonding ability has been significantly altered. God has our best interest in mind when he tells us to be monogamous. He wants us to enjoy and experience the fullness of a trusting, loving, committed, relationship.
The Bible teaches us that Marriage God's way is a oneness created by God, an exclusive relationship between one man and one woman for a lifetime, and an illustration of God's relationship to the church.
The way we live our married life is designed to be a daily testimony to our children and others of God's love, faithfulness, forgiveness, patience and commitment to the church. Ideally, marriages should be pointing the world to Christ. Throughout Scripture, God's union with the Church is illustrated by the covenant of marriage...
Isaiah 62:5 "As a young man marries a maiden, so will your sons marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will God rejoice over you."
Hosea 2:19 &20 "I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness, and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord."
Revelation 19:7 "Let us rejoice and be gland and give him glory. For the wedding of the lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready."
The entire book of Hosea and Song of Solomon are marriage metaphors of God's relationship to the church.
So...it makes logical sense that our earthly, Christian marriages were designed to point unbelievers to Christ. Here is an example of how God has instructed us to be examples...
The book of Ephesians says it well. "Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God...Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." Ephesians 5:1 & 22
Husbands are to submit to their wives as well as wives are to submit to their husbands.
To submit means to subordinate. This kind of submission is a voluntary attitude of giving in. It is not forced. No one is holding a gun to your head and saying "submit or else." It is acting in a spirit of cooperation.
Submission has to do with humility, others, service, self-sacrifice, and cooperation. It means not always getting my way. It means willingly following another. It means life is not about me.
A life without submission has to do with pride, ego, selfishness, and superiority.
Submission has to do with putting others' interests above my own.
Ephesians five goes on to explain the type of submission husbands and wives are to give to one another…
Wives are to submit to their husband's leadership and to respect their husbands.
And husbands are to submit to their wives by loving them with the same tenderness and sacrificial love that Christ showed the church...A love to the death.
The Bible teaches us that Marriage God's way is a oneness created by God, an exclusive relationship between one man and one woman for a lifetime and an illustration of God’s relationship to the church.
As Christ followers we base our definition of and purpose for marriage on the teachings of the Bible. How does your marriage measure up to God’s outline for marriage in the Bible? Don't become sucked into society's view of marriage. Timothy Keller describes societies current definition of marriage in the following statements:
"Marriage is finding emotional and sexual fulfillment and self-actualization."
"Marriage is a terminal sexual contract designed for the gratification of the individual parties."
"Marriage used to be a public institution for the common good, and now it is a private arrangement for the satisfaction of the individuals. Marriage used to be about us, but now it is about me."
"Today’' society does not see the essence of marriage as located in either its divine sacramental symbolism or as a social bond given to benefit the broader human commonwealth. Rather, marriage is seen as a contract between two parties for mutual individual growth and satisfaction. In this view, married persons marry for themselves, not to fulfill responsibilities to God or society. Parties should, therefore, be allowed to conduct their marriage in any way they deem beneficial to them, and no obligation to church, tradition, or broader community should be imposed on them."
What an impact Christians could have on our children and the world if we all committed to doing marriage God’s way. Permit the Holy Spirit to Counsel you as you answer these questions...
1) Does my marriage reflect a oneness created by God?
2) Is my marriage an exclusive relationship between me and my spouse?
3) Is my marriage a daily testimony to my children and others of God's love, faithfulness, forgiveness, patience, and commitment to the church?
4) If you are not married, do your interactions with married individuals support or hinder God's design for marriage?
5) What is the first step God wants me to take toward a journey to Marriage God's way?
Heavenly Father:
Thank you for marriage as you created it. As your followers, we want to do it your way. We believe that your way is the best way for us, for our children, and our influence on society.
I ask you, Heavenly Father, that you will give individuals the courage to obey your direction concerning the first step the Holy Spirit may be asking of them. I pray that their first step will lead them to a series of steps that will guide them to a Godly state of marriage or a Godly state of honoring others' marriages.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
Written by Major Cheriann Stoops
Asbury Park Corps
